Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
