Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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