did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
