pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Randomize
