You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
