Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
