8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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