Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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