No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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