love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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