it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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