that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
