Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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