I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
