Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
