The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
