normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
