dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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