is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
