I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
