My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
