Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
