i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
