Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
