Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
