i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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