I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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