did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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