I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
