Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
