SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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