omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
