Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
