Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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