The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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