fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize