she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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