how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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