soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
