She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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