Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
