yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
