he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i love accidental penises.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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