They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
