I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
