How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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