I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
