I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
