Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Randomize
