M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
