More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
