Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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