worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
