No, drunk sperm still make babies.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
