I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
