I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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