he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
