so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
