Pappa wants mamma naked
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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