need another drink. this is the easiest way
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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