we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
