Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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