butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
