So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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