You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
