Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you mean i was at the winter classic?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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