I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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