We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
