never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
