Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
