no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
