Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
