and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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