remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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