Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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