Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
